


You're All I Need

by NewBikeWithThePlateReadThe666



Category: Mötley Crüe
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 16:40:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18183110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NewBikeWithThePlateReadThe666/pseuds/NewBikeWithThePlateReadThe666
Summary: After he's sexually assaulted, Tommy can't see that it wasn't his fault and blames himself for "cheating". A certain song makes him worry that Nikki might show a violent side.





	You're All I Need

**Author's Note:**

> I love them. Honestly. I was going through some stuff.

When Nikki had first shown him the lyrics, Tommy had laughed. It was just a game to mess with her head, right? She shouldn’t have cheated anyway. Nikki wouldn’t do something like that for real, would he? 

Nikki had been really into the girl he was with when he wrote You’re All I Need and that was enough to make him think up something so sadistic as a joke. Now they were here and Nikki was always telling Tommy that he meant more to him than anyone he’d been with before so how far would he take it this time? Would he still keep it all a joke? Would Tommy be able to stop him if he went further? 

Tommy was sat on the edge of the bed, an old lyric sheet in his hands as the words went swirling in his head, waiting for the hotel door to open. He had to come clean. It wasn’t that Nikki would find out, there was no way of him ever knowing, Tommy just couldn’t take the guilt. He’d sooner take the beating... or worse. 

Nikki had never hurt Tommy before, well, not since they’d started dating. They’d fought before but as soon as Nikki had realised how he felt, he’d never raised a hand to him again. He’d never even thought about Nikki getting violent with him. It wasn’t until he heard the song on the radio earlier, the lyrics hit home and left Tommy shaking. 

Nikki meant the whole world to him, there was nothing he wouldn’t do for him. For some reason though, the night it had happened, he couldn’t do anything to stop it. He never asked to be followed out of that bar, he never asked to be shoved up against that wall, he never asked to be... Tommy felt himself heave at the thought. But he should’ve been stronger, he hadn’t been paraletic or anything. In that moment though, Tommy had lost all control. He had frozen, scared- more so than he ever had been before. He couldn’t fight back. None of that mattered to him though. All Tommy knew was that someone- not Nikki- had been with him and he didn’t stop them. 

The door creaked as it swung open and Tommy dropped the sheet, Nikki looked tired. Maybe that was a good thing, Tommy thought. Despite the sweat pouring from him, Tommy shivered as he took a deep breath in. He stood up from the bed. Nikki threw his jacket on the floor and moved towards him. The ease in which he wrapped his arm around Tommy’s waist and kissed him made the younger man want to keep the secret forever. He didn’t want to give this up but Nikki deserved better than a cheat. 

Tommy moved his face away, clenching the front of Nikki’s shirt in his fists before stroking it out straight again. He knew he was going red, he could barely breathe. 

Nikki stepped back, “What’s wrong?”

“Nikki... I...” He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t lose him like this. He never even wanted it, why should he lose everything he cared about over... it? “Please. I need you to hear me out.”

Nikki sat on the bed and patted a spot next to him gently. “You can tell me, I won’t hate you for it.” 

Tommy looked at him, surprised. “You know?”

“I have an idea.” Nikki said simply, shrugging. “The sweats, the breathing, you’ve been distant for days. You can’t look at me and you jump whenever anyone moves too fast. I’ll support you through it. I should’ve seen it earlier. It’s an illness-”

“I’m not taking!” Though he wished he was. At least Nikki would understand that. He sat down beside him, trying to ignore the burning in his eyes. “Remember when I said I loved you? I need you to know I meant it and I still do.”

“I know you did, babe. Why... Why are you...?” Nikki didn’t know how to finish that, there was a lump in his throat and his mind was racing at a thousand miles an hour. 

“I don’t blame you if you can’t let this go, Nik, but I need you. I fucked up. Real bad. I didn’t wanna but... I cheated.” Tommy barely choked out the last words. He was looking at the bed sheets and bracing himself for some kind of attack, verbal or physical. 

He clenched his eyes tight, Nikki already hated him, he didn’t want to seem weak as well. Despite trying to seem in control, Nikki’s lightning fast hand movement had Tommy flinching and cowering. The impact never came though. Tommy felt a thumb brush against the back of his neck, urging him to look up. Giving in, he searched for Nikki’s eyes through the tears threatening to fall.

“The fuck do you mean “you didn’t wanna”?” There was no anger in his voice, only concern. 

“I... He jumped me in an alley. I should’ve fought back harder, I know that, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything. I know it’s not an excuse but Nikki, I swear, I wouldn’t... I never even... Please.” The tears began to fall and words became impossible. He wasn’t afraid of Nikki or what he’d do- hell, if he thought about it long enough, he’d probably do it himself- he was terrified of losing him though. 

Nikki began moving his thumb slowly against his neck as he shuffled closer, making sure he didn’t make any sudden movements. He put his other hand under Tommy’s and held it loosely. “Tommy... were you...? Because if you were then that’s not cheating.” 

“I should’ve stopped him. I wanted to, I promise!” The tears had turned into sobs now, his breath catching constantly and his words slurring. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t. Don’t you ever apologize for this.” He kept his voice low but he wanted nothing more than to scream. Not at Tommy, obviously. Nikki was furious at the universe and this piece of shit for hurting the one person he truly cared about. He wanted to tear the room apart and go and find him, end anyone who stood in his way, but Tommy needed him more. This was about him after all. 

Tommy moved Nikki’s hand up to the other side of his neck and waited, if he was going to do anything, it would be now. And he did. Nikki moved his hands so they were flat against the sides of his throat and moved even closer. He used his thumbs to stroke along the front delicately before kissing him softly. No tongue, no teeth, just Nikki brushing his lips against Tommy’s for a few moments before stilling. He didn’t move away before talking, his breath crashing into Tommy’s face, calming him. 

“This... It’s up to you how you deal with it but... but it’s never going to change the way I feel about you. It was an attack. You were attacked. It doesn’t change the fact I love you and it won’t change the way I love you.” 

“Love you.” Nikki wasn’t sure if Tommy was telling him or just repeating after him but he nodded anyway. 

“I love you.” He spoke clearer this time. Tommy dropped his head against Nikki’s shoulder and let the tears finish falling on their own. Nikki held him, whispering every so often how important and irreplaceable he was to him. 

Sooner than they thought, the sun began to rise. Neither of them had slept but Tommy was finished crying, Nikki was still angry but he’d found a much better way to focus that energy. Tommy was his priority, he always had been but now he needed him and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to deliver. 

Nikki was the first to break, Tommy had been laying on his bladder all night and he needed to get up. He was gentle, still afraid to make sudden movements, as he laid the drummer on the mattress and stroked his hair. “Be right back.” 

Tommy nodded and smiled gently as the fingers brushed against his face. Part of him was sure he’d died last night and this was heaven. It was better than he could have ever dreamed of but what good had he ever done to deserve heaven? No, this was real. Nikki was just the best boyfriend he could’ve hoped for. He felt his eyes flickering closed, heavy and sore, he let them. Nikki was in the next room, he was safe here. 

***

Tommy stirred gently under the sunshine slipping through the curtains. Instinctively, he rolled over to curl into Nikki but there was no one there. The bed sheets were cold. Everything came flooding back to him in one go and Tommy’s eyes shot open. He looked around with a desperation until he saw him. Nikki hadn’t left, of course he hadn’t, he loved him. He was sat on the bottom of the bed, one hand reached over to stroke Tommy’s leg and the other holding old paper. He tried to get a closer look. 

“What’s that?” 

“You tell me...” Nikki was quiet and held the lyric sheet up. “I thought you were jumpy last night because of the attack but you weren’t, were you?”

Tommy looked away. He was still so tired, every inch of him feeling like dust after days of carrying a shame that was never his to carry in the first place. “Nik... Please, my head’s just not ok right now. I was so scared of losing y-”

“You honestly thought I could hurt you? Kill you?” He snorted but it hardly covered the hurt in his voice. “You flinched last night. Was that because of this? Don’t even think about lying, Tommy, this is... Don’t lie to me now.”

Tommy nodded and moved closer. “You kept saying how much I meant to you. I know you wouldn’t but, last night, I was so ready to lose everything. I was falling apart. I’d have believed anything, it felt like I deserved anything.” 

“And now?”

“I couldn’t doubt you. I can’t think of anyone else who would’ve seen it like that. No one who cares enough about me to actually see that I was hurt. Any other guy would’ve just got angry.” 

Nikki put his head in his hand, “I’m supposed to be the one you feel safe with. I’m not supposed to make something like this harder on you.”

Tommy stroked his back with his finger tips. “Nothing was going to make this easier, not last night anyway. I’ve never felt like I’ve ever had someone worth losing before.” He rest his head against his back, listening to his heartbeat. “I’ve never felt like I’ve had someone worth fighting for either though.” He felt Nikki relax under his words. “I don’t wanna lose you.”

Nikki dropped the paper and turned to face him. “Promise me, you have to promise me, that no part of you believes in that. They were just dumb words to mess with her.” 

“I promise.” The light in Tommy's eyes when he looked at Nikki was all the promise he needed. 

“I couldn’t ever hurt you. Some days, you’re the only thing that matters. Even if you had cheated, I couldn’t hurt you. I’m blessed you ever looked at me twice, I’m not about to kid myself that we’re forev-” 

Nikki was cut off by Tommy’s lips. He was much rougher than Nikki had been last night and he clung the fabric at the front of his shirt. “Yes, we can be. I don’t want anyone else. Nikki, no one could care about me half as much as you do and I don’t think I’d want them too. You never believe me but, really, you’re the best thing that’s happened to me- warts and all.” 

Nikki began kissing back, he had no reply, he never did when Tommy spoke like that. Tommy didn’t mind though, he knew that silence was the next best thing to accepting the sentiment with him. He leaned back until he was laying down, Nikki still kissing him, trailing small pecks along his jawline while he lay nestled between his legs. Neither of them were going to pretend everything was alright, but they had each other and that was a start.


End file.
